Many thanks for taking the time to e-mail me. I suspect you've been rather inundated with mail and may not have had the chance to read mine fully. Your response suggests I am opposed to the National Trust including material favoured by Young Earth Creationists. Far from it! My fian and I were overjoyed to see such an open-minded approach taken, and we celebrated late into the night, knowing that this bold move on your part could be used by us as well as the Caleb Foundation as a foot in the door for our beliefs.
We also recognise the sincerity of belief of those who think the earth is younger than 7,500 years old. My Druids inform me that we can count back some 11,500 years by using tree rings alone, so I have my own personal doubts, but society represents a plurality of views and we feel that they deserve a place at the table.
I had mentioned in my previous mail (perhaps you've had the chance to read it?) that I could have our Druids prepare some information for you and the Caleb Foundation. I asked our chief poet, Seathrún, to coordinate some preliminary work on this in anticipation of a potential request.
He's an excellent guy. Very sharp. Great way with words, encyclopedic knowledge and a fine worker, and has a fine knowledge of the Bible from a previous career. Unfortunately he's very much stuck in the old ways. Some of my fian are quite modern - obviously enough I use the Internet, have travelled by car, and don't have Seathrún's animosity towards mass-produced soap products. He, on the other hand, seems to think it's more important to preserve the ways of the old days rather than their spirit. I tried telling him at a recent meeting that Fionn Mac Cumhaill was a very physical bloke in his day, and that had deodorant been available to him I'm sure he would have employed it, but Seathrún grew quite irate and it took a considerable amount of mead to calm him.
This might seem unrelated but it's important to understand his methodology. He still uses vellum, and he likes to prepare it himself using traditional methods. We're eager to keep him on board so we try to accommodate his wishes. The local butcher is quite reasonable, and as long as we go to him for our feasting material he's happy to source us a few sheep's pelts at a quite reasonable price. Then Seathrún does the scraping, sealing and drying. To make things a little more complicated, whatever approach it is he uses has a few problems - I won't go in to too much detail, but let's just say that no matter how fine the poetry it can be hard to stay in the same room as one of his works after a few weeks unless there's some industrial strength ventilation to control the smell.
Sorry, it must seem like I'm rambling on. To cut a long story short, with the poor vellum drying weather recently Seathrún's been behind schedule on the research I tasked him with so I'm afraid I don't have as much material on the physics of rock tossing giants as I'd hoped. He has completed more research on giants and superhuman strength in the Old Testament which may be useful in putting our views on an equal footing with that of the Caleb Foundation.
Did you know, for instance, that Samson is said to have slewn a thousand Philistines with the jawbone of a donkey? It's not clear from the text if the jawbone was connected to a live donkey at the time, but either way it's an impressive feat. He's also said to have ripped a lion in half. Again, I have people crunching the numbers on this - figures will be approximate, Dublin Zoo were quite rude when we sought their assistance - but surely it is indicative of superhuman strength? Let us not also forget his attack on the House of Dagon, pulling down down two giant supporting columns, easily weighing the same as a column of basalt, and demonstrating that if a Young Earth Creationist viewpoint is worthy of a hearing, then so to is that of Na Fianna.
I realise the workload in your office has increased following your courageous decision to represent views derided by mainstream science. I would ask if at all possible for you to read both mails in their entirety before responding further - I feel you missed out on much crucial information in my first communication.
Unbeknownst to Seathrún I've been sneaking into his workshop in the wee hours of the morning and speeding his vellum drying process along with the use of a hairdrier (technology he does not favour) so I hope to be able to contact you quite soon with further updates.